Saturday, December 30, 2006

Saddam, we hardly knew ye

You gotta like the no-nonsense nature of Saddam's hanging. Not so much the actual execution, but the quickness with which it was carried out in relation to when he was convicted. It took merely 56 days to go from guilty verdict, to "rope-a-dope". Not bad.

How would this have played out here? Ten, fifteen years on death row? Awaiting Saddam's demise sometime around, oh, say 2020 -- you know, around the same time that Rocky XII would come out.

I'm sure the nature of the crimes, and the fact that is was after all, Saddam Hussein, meant a faster conclusion to the story. Make that a much faster conclusion. His appeal was denied early last week, and the order was to carry out the execution within 30 days. "Hey, why wait that long?" they thought to themselves, and after a U.S. judge refused to stop Saddam's execution on Friday, the noose around Hussein's neck tightened -- literally.

At least he dressed up for the occasion. He had a nice black suit on, decent looking white shirt underneath, and his beard looked nice and trim. The executioners had on ski masks, huh? Were they going to rob the place after they were done? I would have liked to have seen them in full executioner attire, or better yet, grey suits with George W. Bush masks on. Now that would have been high comedy.

And since this all happened so close to the end of the calendar year, I think an opportunity was wasted with this execution. Couldn't they have flown Saddam and the Executioners -- don't think there won't be a punk band with that name next year -- to New York, and gone ahead with the execution in Times Square?

Think about it. It's almost midnight, thousands are gathered down below to ring in 2007, and as the final seconds tick away, instead of the ball dropping, it's Saddam and the Executioners. During that final minute, they start a slow decline to where the ball usually finishes its descent. Then three-two-one...midnight hits just as Saddam is hanged as Led Zeppelin's "Gallows Pole" roars in the background.

Hangman, hangman, upon your face a smile.
Tell me that I'm free to ride
Ride for many mile, mile, mile.

(Clink) Happy New Year!

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