Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Worst Christmas Songs

It's the holiday season, and while generally, I enjoy a large majority of Christmas music, there are a handful of songs -- as I'm sure is the case with everyone -- that are absolute torture to listen to this time of year.

There are Christmas Classics, and then there are Christmas Trash-ics.

This small list is mainly focused on songs you'll likely hear on the radio quite a bit this season, not some of the more obscure bad Christmas songs, which would require a much, much more comprehensive list.

In no particular order, here are a few of the songs that make me want to stab a reindeer.

Vince Vance and The Valiants - "All I Want For Christmas Is You"

I cannot comprehend what the appeal of this song is. Yes, I get the sentiment with the lyrics, but I'm strictly talking about the actual performance. There's something about the singer's twangy delivery that makes me want to shove a candy cane through both of my eyes, and stick a pair of burning chestnuts in my ears.

Elvis Presley - "Blue Christmas"

Sorry, Elvis fans. I've never been a fan of him, or his music, and this song doesn't help.

Bruce Springsteen - "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town"

For some reason, this song gets a ton of airplay at Christmas. It's brutal. Even Bruce is laughing at how bad it is toward the end. Another live Christmas song from Bruce, "Merry Christmas, Baby", is 100 times better, but you rarely hear it.

Barbra Streisand - "Jingle Bells"

Was this some kind of joke?

Celine Dion - "Christmas Eve"

I can tolerate this song for about 98% of it. The problem is every time I hear it, I can't get past the ridiculous sounds coming from Celine when she's trying to riff, vamp, whatever you call it near the end of the song. Humans aren't supposed to make those noises. I can't get over it.

Feel free to add yours...

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