Now it's making sense. Hottie wife thinks you're having an affair, so after she confronts you -- and possibly beats up on you a bit -- you hop in the SUV to get away from her at 2:30 a.m., only she is coming after you with one of your 5-irons.
She grips it and rips it, smashing out the back window with one good wallop, which startles you so much, you floor it, taking out a fire hydrant and landing you into a tree.
Since you were probably making a fast escape from the house, there was no thought of buckling up, so you get your face bloodied (although I've read some reports that are claiming there was no blood on the steering wheel, which would indicate Elin did most of the damage, not the crash).
No statement, no interview with the police, yet (it's been postponed not once, but twice), and rumors of a Tiger affair gaining steam by the second. True or not, Elin could be looking at a domestic abuse charge.
After getting shutout by Mendota 35-0 last weekend, the Morris Redskins' season came to an end with a 6-5 record.
Judging by what I've heard, and what I've read since then -- and, really, for a good chunk of the season -- the most vocal fans (and not necessarily a majority) want changes, and they want them yesterday.
Mostly it's calls for the head coach to be fired, or the play calls to be handled differently, or the lineup to be changed. From the sound of it, there may be a line waiting at the Route 47 river bridge. The attacks have gotten so bad that the Morris Redskins Football message board has been shut down temprorarily so that cooler heads can eventually prevail.
What I don't hear that much -- from this group of most vocal fans -- is that, simply, the talent wasn't there this year.
Plain and simple, that's the real reason for a subpar Redskins' season. The team just wasn't as good as they've been in the past. And that's okay. It's incredibly improbable that it hasn't happened more often.
Sometimes the kids on the field just aren't as good as the other team. Nothing wrong with that.
The head coach that some people want fired is the same one that in his five years as varsity coach has won a state championship -- the first one for the school in over 20 years -- got them to another state championship, losing on a last second field goal, and defeated then big bad rival Joliet Catholic in the playoffs, not once, but twice...something his predecessor failed to do.
Did the coaches suddenly forget how to coach? Were they not responsible at all for the title run in 2005? The title game appearance in 2007, with mostly different players?
The program at Morris isn't in shambles. The sophomore team went 8-1, the freshmen were undefeated. The cupboard isn't bare, and I have a feeling that the varsity team will be back to the level we're all accustomed to soon.
But, you can't expect to go 14-0 every year. There are ups, and occasional downs. Chalk the end to this season as a down.
Save the vitriol and nastiness for a team that deserves it, the Bears.
Yikes. Has it really been almost two weeks since my last post?
The off time has allowed me a chance to reflect on the oh-so-close season the Phils had, nearly repeating as World Champs, after bowing out to the dreaded evil empire in six games.
Funny thing, I'm not handling it that bad at all.
Don't get me wrong, it still sucks that they lost, but I'm somewhat ok with it. The better team -- at least, I'm pretty sure they were -- won the series. Plain and simple.
I didn't even watch game six. I was taping it on the DVR, and was planning on starting to watch it about 90 minutes after the first pitch so I could zip through commercials (and Yankees at-bats) like I had been doing throughout the playoffs, but I was tired, and just had a feeling they weren't going to win, and I didn't want to see that.
Plus, if they did win that game, I'd be happy to a point, but would just have to go through all of the same feelings of nerves, etc. the next night for a game seven.
So, when I woke up to go to work the morning after game six, slowly scrolled through the sports page on Yahoo to see that they lost, I was upset, but not heartbroken. In fact, I felt much worse after they lost game four. That's when they lost the series.
Sure, losing game three after Hamels was given a 3-0 lead -- and he looked darn good in those first few innings -- was a tough one, but after coming back to tie game four with a run in the 8th on Feliz' home run, only to have Lidge give up three in the 9th (after two were out with nobody on base and two strikes on Johnny Damon of all people) was much more of a punch to the gut.
But, ehy, they took the Yanks to six games, made sure they didn't get swept at home -- which would have resulted in New York celebrating on the Phils' home field -- and just got beat by a better team, or at least a team playing better at the time.
I'll still have Rollin's walkoff hit in game four of the NLCS, the great comeback win in Colorado in game four of that series, the dominance of Cliff Lee in the post season, Werth's bombs, Utley taking C.C. deep twice in the World Series opener, and the list goes on.
The nice thing, is that this Phillies team is primed to be a major factor in the NL race for at least the next few years, as long as everyone stays healthy. That's all anyone can ask.
Having that 2008 title sure takes away any potential sting as well.
So, thanks 2009 Phillies for a great season. Now, rest up. Spring training is only three months away.
Well, I have to hand it to Cole Hamels for giving me my biggest moment of fright on Halloween night.
Watching him hang a curve ball on the first pitch to Andy Petitte in the 4th inning of Game 3 of the World Series last night almost had me quivering with fear.
Petitte deposited it into center field tying the game at 3-3, and for all intents and purposes, the game was over right there.
Forget the blown called third strike on Texiera the inning before, and A-Rod's follow-up homer. It all evaporated as Hamels inexplicably threw his third best pitch to the worst hitter in the lineup.
Hamels, who was breezing along through three innings, later gave up a two-run double to Johnny Damon, and that was that. 2008 is a long ways away, Cole.
Now, for the first time in any of the last six postseason series, the Phillies are trailing. Doesn't look good now, as C.C. Sabathia is throwing tonight on three days rest, with A.J. Burnett going on Monday night.
It was so cold and windy here yesterday afternoon -- plus, our two daughters are getting over a week-long sickness -- that we didn't even get to trick-or-treat for more than a half hour or so. So, I'll have to drown my sorrows from last night in alcohol instead of chocolate. Just have to.
What? A Phillies fan (me) having a positive thought about the Phils? (yes, it happened).
As Game 4 of the NLCS was inching toward its conclusion, it was looking like L.A. was going to get the road win they would need to guarantee the series would head back to California.
An early 2-0 Philly lead quickly turned into a 4-2 edge for Los Angeles. After the Phils crawled back to within one-run in the 6th, The Dodgers were hanging onto that 4-3 lead into the bottom of the 8th. The Phillies mounted a rally, getting two men on with only one out for Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth.
This was it! Another chance for Howard to be a hero, or Werth -- who singled home the NLDS series clinching run -- to get the job done again.
Strike out, fly out, on to the 9th.
After Lidge dodged some bullets and kept the deficit at one heading to the bottom of the 9th, it happened. My moment of positive thinking. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, so that whenever the game ended I could just turn off the TV and head to bed -- for my upcoming four hours of sleep -- and I said out loud to myself, "just gotta think positive here, right?"
Why shouldn't I? After witnessing this team rally for the 2007 and 2008 NL East titles, winning it all in '08, and advancing to the NLCS in '09, why shouldn't I feel positive about their chances in the 9th.
All I kept thinking was, if they could just turn the lineup over...if they could just turn the lineup over.
And, with Jonathon Broxton coming in -- and is there anyone else in baseball that looks like they need to immediately pee in a cup? -- I knew that the Phils would find a way to get Matt Stairs into the game to pinch hit.
The 9th opened quietly enough with Ibanex grounding out to second base -- and, does anyone ground out to 2nd more often than Raul? -- but then here came Stairs, and you could tell Broxton was having some bad flashbacks. He pitched around Stairs, walking him to put the tying run on 1st.
If one of the next two guys could get on base, they'd turn that lineup over for Rollins.
thankfully, Broxton's composure was still shaken, and he hit Ruiz with a fastball. As long as Dobbs didn't hit into a DP, Rollins would come up.
Why was I confident in Jimmy? He was due. It was hit turn for his 2009 moment.
After Dobbs lined out to third, up came Jimmy with two on, and two out. A single ties it up. An out, and the series is 2-2.
Jimmy likes to swing for the fences, and being eager to jack one out on the opening fastball -- which he missed badly, as it was about six inches inside -- I got a little nervous with the count 0-1.
"Come on, Jimmy! We only need a hit here, not a home run!"
With Game 2 of the NLCS being played in the late afternoon, for the second year in a row I got to listen to the tail end of the game on my drive to work -- covering a local high school football game.
I tried to stay home as long as possible before leaving, as the pitching duel between Pedro Martinez and Vicente Padilla was moving along briskly...until the 8th inning, at least.
It got to the time of the day where I couldn't wait to leave any longer. The Phils were clinging to a 1-0 lead, and after having pulled Pedro -- who was masterful through seven scoreless innings (but only 87 pitches!) -- the Dodgers were mounting a threat.
Chan Ho Park was in the game, and L.A. had the first two runners on with nobody out. Perfect. This should make for a fun and relaxing 30-minute drive to my night gig.
That's what's different about baseball from any other sport...and what makes it so excruciatingly stressful if you have a rooting interest in a playoff team. EVERY pitch is critical. So, as I'm working my way through traffic, hoping against hope that the Phils will be able to hold off this Dodgers rally, I'm living and dying with each pitch, holding my breath, exhaling, shaking my head, going through all of the different ramifications of each pitch in the 20 seconds before the next pitch.
It's brutal. But, it's playoff baseball. Not for the weak.
As my drive continued, so did the Dodgers rally: fielder's choice, but an error on Chase Utley's throw to first, allowing the tying run to score.(ruining a perfect double play chance), a Thome single putting runners at the corners, and then back-to-back walks forcing in the go-ahead run.
All of this transpired over the course of 30-plus minutes, and against five different Phillies relievers.
The half-inning started before I got in the car, and still wasn't over after my drive to work.
Needless to say, my good vibes built up after watching Pedro dominate L.A. while watching the game at my house quickly turned to sadness, anger and frustration by the time I got to the high school football game.
Even though the loss still left the Phils with the desired split in L.A., at that moment, as I took my gloomy mood and down-trodden face into the high school press box, it would have been awfully hard for me to truthfully believe Philly was about to sweep three straight at home to earn a return trip to the World Series.
But, it's playoff baseball. And, it's a different Phillies team then we're used to.
Now it's making sense. Hottie wife thinks you're having an affair, so after she confronts you -- and possibly beats up on you a bit -- you hop in the SUV to get away from her at 2:30 a.m., only she is coming after you with one of your 5-irons.
