Cowboys Loss Has Someone Fuhrer-ious

Must have been rough being the one to have to deliver bad news to Hitler.

Patriots Fan Proves America's Got Talent

Since I'm not a fan of either the New England Patriots or the New York Giants, I may enjoy looking at goofy videos of various fans of each team more than the game itself.

This Patriots fan has written a song thanking everyone in Bill Belichick's family, I think. It's hard to make out what he's saying over the mesmerizing keyboard playing.

Don't miss the spectacular dance moves, too.

And stick around for the big finish. Well worth it.

I thought my buddy, Dean Tambling was a devoted Patriots fan, but I don't think he's at the point yet where he's written, performed, and danced along to his own Patriots related song.

But, Dean, if you do, let me know so I can roll tape.

Cruisin For Cruise

You knew the parody videos wouldn't take too long to surface. First, the original Tom Cruise raving about Scientology video, in all its glory...



Parody time...Tom Cruise discussing constipation?



Actor Jerry O'Connell's take




Craig Ferguson takes his shot



Some dude with some time on his hands



Some dude with access to books




And this one is just funny. It's a shame it's only 0:26 long



And just for the heck of it, watching Ben Stiller portraying Tom Crooze never gets old

Giants Vs. Patriots: A Photo Finish?

Thanks, Brett Favre. After "leading" Green Bay to a thoroughly lackluster offensive performance Sunday night in the NFC title game, especially in the 2nd half, the New York Giants were able to -- after about a dozen tries -- put away the Packers and advance to the Super Bowl.

New England Patriots vs. New York Giants. Yippee. As an Eagles fan, I certainly don't want the Giants to win, but at the same time, I'm so tired of New England that part of me wouldn't mind seeing New York squeak out a win.

Plus, a Giants win may make them less hungry next year, which may help the Eagles. Although a Giants loss puts them in that dreaded losing-team-in-the-Super-Bowl-never-makes-the-playoffs-the-following-year category, which certainly helps the Eagles.

I'll be flip-flopping on how I think this one will go until kickoff on February 3rd. And, thanks to the Brady foot thing -- more on that in a moment -- I can't even feel confident with any kind of wager, other than over/under shots of Archie Manning or references to the '72 Dolphins. The game is on FOX, so take the over on both!

The game itself may be a lot closer than Vegas wants you to believe. The Pats had to rally late to beat the Giants 38-35 in the last regular season game of the year.

Plus, Tom Brady is walking around with a limp and a cast on his foot, and Eli Manning is emerging as a pretty reliable quarterback, with good playmakers alongside, and a decent defense to support him.

Too close to call? Possibly.

The only way -- or at least the most fun way -- to break this down may be to compare the best photoshopped images of the key figures from each side.

Let's start with Bill Belichick and Tom Brady...












vs. Eli Manning -- the image of Manning's face taken from a picture of him after a few too many beers at a party...












Wow. Tough call. Looks like it might go overtime.

And the winner is...

Gene Simmons Fired

Ahhh, what a shame seeing Gene Simmons get fired from Celebrity Apprentice this week. This coming after Gene's victorious turn as Project Manager in last week's win for the Hydra team.

I realize I may be the only person watching this version of the strangely addictive show -- for me at least -- so I won't go into all of the details surrounding Gene's ouster.

But, there's now a sorely lacking comedic element that will be sorely missing from future episodes. Simmons, the shameless self-promoter and marketer, was cocky, brash, and fun to watch. Right or wrong, the guy's got brass ones, that's for sure. And why not? A legendary guitarist, in one of the most popular rock bands of all time, and with the tongue of all tongues, he's earned the right to walk around like a king.

Or as he put it in the episode, "I'm the king of all women, it's a roll I was born for."

But his confidence got the best of him as he stubbornly stuck to his ideas for the Kodak task, and ignored the guidelines put forth by the executives that he never even bothered to meet. In fact, Gene didn't even bother learning the name of the product he was in charge of promoting, resorting to writing it down on his hand to remember.

Already with a foot in the Celebrity Apprentice grave, Donald Trump asked Gene to bring back two teammates for the final boardroom discussion, and Simmons chose two people that had nothing to do with losing the task, Omarosa, and Jennie Finch. Trump had no choice but to fire Simmons.

Maybe he wanted to be fired. Maybe it will free him up to get back to what, in my mind, he does best...play villains in movies. Who could ever forget his fantastic performance in the Tom Selleck thriller, Runaway from 1984.

I'm not joking, this is a great movie. It's got it all; Simmons as a madman that unleashes killer spiderlike robots on a futuristic New York, Tom Selleck as the afraid-of-heights hero back in his heyday, and a skinny Kirstie Alley.

Go. Rent it. It really is good.

Mad Men Returns

Ok, so the second season of AMC's Mad Men isn't still for a few more months, or possibly later if the writer's strike doesn't end soon, but AMC is re-running the first season's episodes beginning Sunday night, January 20th, at midnight (EST).

Once again, Mad Men is a show that I originally ignored, read great things, and eventually caught up by watching all 13 episodes. It's a familiar pattern for me with certain shows (30 Rock, The Office, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica to name a few).

It's primarily a character piece, with superb writing, acting (Jon Hamm, who plays lead character Don Draper, just won a Golden Globe), and feel. The show takes place in 1960, and deals with the inner workings of an ad firm. There's plenty of smoking, drinking, and womanizing. You know, the good 'ol days.

Check it out. If you haven't seen it yet, consider it a chance to watch a new show -- for you at least -- in a time when most nights are filled with reality TV and other dreck (According To Jim??) until the writer's strike is settled.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to catch up on Dexter.

Thanks, Britney

I just wanted to take a moment to thank Britney Spears for having such a productive start to the new year. It's gotten to the point where as soon as I decide to make a post about her latest adventure, it instantly becomes old news because of something new she's done.

First we had the infamous trip to the hospital. And while there, she spoke in a British accent. Of course. There's also the Dr. Phil stuff, but more on that in a moment.

Earlier this week, Britney gave us a fun little story that involved her abandoning her car, which was later impounded.

Then today, I found this site which reportedly has a video -- which can be seen after clicking the link -- that shows Britney tossing a cigarette out the window of a car...AT A GAS STATION!

What a year she's having. She waited all the way until February last year to make news with the infamous head-shaving incident. Gotta admit, I was a little disappointed to see those pictures after hearing that Britney was shaved. Not what I had in mind.

Back to Dr. Phil. He, naturally, was called by the family to help Britney after she was taken to the hospital. After the visit, which Dr. Phil tried to turn into a one-hour ratings blockbuster for his show, which never happened, he made public comments about the sad state that Spears is in.

Hardly news, but the family is now upset with Dr. Phil, stating that he overstepped his bounds and should have kept his mouth shut.

Should he have? Sure. But, this one's on the family. You're looking for some help for your daughter concerning her mental state, but you want to keep it confidential, so the first person you think to call is Dr. Phil? Really? Gee, could you have picked a psychologist with any bigger of a profile?

What's next, feeling concerned about her choices for fashion, and asking Mr. Blackwell to come in for advice?

I can't say that he didn't violate some trust issues, and maybe some ethical ones as well, but the family shouldn't be surprised that he would talk.

Well, I better stop typing on this post, because I'm sure she's gone and done something else rather cheeky (I fancy that I should start practicing my own British accent).

Well, that didn't take long.

Golden Goose

Finally, Rich "Goose" Gossage is in the Major League Baseball Hall Of Fame.

Of course, Goose has been a member of the "Classic Tirades Of All Time" Hall of Fame for quite some time now. I'm sure he's proud.

I can't stress this enough...the clip below of the Goose ranting and raving back when he was a Yankee is NSFW, and certainly NOT for the kiddies.

For as vulgar as it is, my two favorite moments are when he doesn't swear. I love the way he says, "O.K.?!?!" about halfway through, and the way he says greasy -- "greazy" -- when describing a fine, upstanding member of the media.

Now, can we get Bert Blyleven in the Hall of Fame next? The real one, in Cooperstown? And, no, Bert isn't in the "Classic Tirades" Hall, but he is a member of the "I Uttered An Expletive Because I Forgot We Were Live" Hall of Fame.

I'm sure he's proud.

Watch "The Wire". You Feel Me?

The Wire returns for its fifth and, sadly, final season Sunday night. I'm very late to The Wire party, but I'm all caught up, and I'm sure glad I took the time and effort to watch the first four seasons. It's fantastic.

I can't remember exactly why I didn't give it a chance when it first aired several years ago. With The Sopranos being so good, and Deadwood reaching similar status, with me at least, not so much with all viewers, maybe I underestimated The Wire figuring that sooner or later an HBO drama would surface that just wasn't that good.

Turns out I only had to wait until Big Love premiered.

But, as was the case with The Office, Battlestar Galactica, 30 Rock, etc., I'd read so much about how great The Wire is, I caved, and started the long, but incredibly rewarding process of watching previous seasons.

The writing is what sets The Wire apart as one of, if not the best drama on television. Rarely do I ever watch a scene and question what a character says, or how he says it, in the context of how or why a scene is played out. And, for each gripping piece of drama that oozes from an episode, there is a great deal of humor as well. It's biting, dark, and very appropriate for the settings in each season.

You gotta give credit to The Wire as well for being able to maintain such quality, while tackling, in essence, a different theme each season as its main story arc. Whether it's drugs, the docks, politics, education, or this season, the media, the show tackles each topic with grit and realism. You don't get tidy endings, or positive results with all of the characters involved.

In some cases, stories carry over from season to season, so the only way to get the full effect of how great this show is, is to watch from the beginning, and learn the origins of McNulty's dealings with the department, and the bottle...the Barksdale organization, Marlo, Omar, Bubs, Daniels, Rawls, the Sobotka's, Chris and Snoop, Prez, Prop Joe, Cutty, Bunny, and the four kids from season four, Michael, Dookie, Namond, and Randy.

So while you don't have time to catch up on all four seasons before Sunday's fifth season kicks off, it wouldn't hurt to start renting the DVD's and begin the ride you won't regret.

I can't recommend it enough. You feel me?